The Closet
by LadyPorpoise
Summary: So what could be the most traumatizing thing for Elrond's chief-advisor? He has dealt with quite a lot of nonsense, even been in a battle or two. Brave. And survived the Twins. No, the most scariest thing for such an organized person is...being locked in Glorfindel's closet, even if it was a complete accident. Will he survive until he gets out? Or are the horrors too much?
1. Chapter 1

_A/N Many closet stories seem to have been written like a decade ago...Ah, but that is how things are, yes? Another stupid attempt at humor, simply because I like "harmlessly" hurting people._

 _No, not slash. Sorry._

 _I don't own anything._

 _Reviews welcome._

* * *

There were days when it was quiet, and other days when it was busy and stressful. Well, most days were not too stressful, it just depends on what was happening that made it stressful. Like, the twins causing grief to their father or they were seriously injured. Other reasons were threats so close to the borders.

Now, if one _really_ wants stressful, or for a better term: odd…

Once upon a time in the early morning, a certain balrog-slayer was enjoying the sight of the rising sun and her magnificent rays casting beautiful hues across the treetops, on the balcony of course. It was a normal day, like any other day. Completely silent save for the birds and sounds of nature.

Glorfindel grinned. The half-Vanya was one that appreciated the things in Arda greatly. That likely was a result of having been to Mandos and back…and if one was in that dead, grey, lifeless place, one most certainly will REALLY appreciate the life outside. Besides, each day could be the last, and truly the last day of living.

Death from what, one may ask? Plenty. Twins, and Erestor.

Of course Glorfindel loved each of them. Elladan and Elrohir being like nephews to him, and Erestor like a brother he never had. But back on track…there was the one time Elrohir dumped honey all over the renowned elf. The younger twin said it was an accident, and Glorfindel was very close to actually believing it.

Honey collecting, simply to pass the time, and Elrohir had conveniently placed the big vat of golden goo right where Glorfindel tripped over it and fell with a big thud. To put it lightly he did glow a bit more, and the bees certainly loved him to pieces. And stings as well.

The poor servants had a tough time scrubbing the dried honey off the floors though…

As for Erestor, the poor overly stern advisor, and maybe overly organized, he and the balrog-slayer had a mutual friendship. That at least is what Erestor said. Glorfindel could easily tell it was more than that. Such an easy target…ah, but still, serious business did happen. Even when things got a bit out of hand, they managed to pull through.

The time for early warm ups was coming close, and Glorfindel arose from his lounging chair and entered the cream colored room. He dressed appropriately for the day, which consisted of gold, and strangely enough: black. If he were still covered in honey, then he would be a bee.

No, that is not the entire reason for the odd colors. Back in Valinor, the Vanyar primarily adorned themselves in the colors of birds, more so the birds of paradise. Even the circlets, now that was something. Glorfindel ended up making a silver circlet a century after arriving in Imladris, and a couple of small dangly objects behind it to resemble the odd feathers certain birds of paradise had. Being half Noldo as well, that would ease the need to be "show-offy". Everyone in Imladris found it amusing when they first saw it, but eventually it settled. Only the family members of Elrond (and close friends) occasionally commented on it. It was a brief reminder of home.

A small change from the stupid flowers at least. Besides, there was not anything formal going on, so might as well dress as a terrifying little bugger. One that can be so harmless, yet so dangerous at the same time.

Now, there was one last thing…

 _The closet._

Glorfindel strode towards the dreaded thing. That was where he stored his sword, and other weapons besides. And some odd trinkets.

…and maybe some socks. Old ones, for extra detail.

And a bunch of junk as well. To be blunt, _no one_ should ever look in there except for the owner.

It was so disorganized it would make even the trainees freak. But Glorfindel was captain anyway, and he could do whatever he wanted with his…stash.

Even then, the half-Vanya had slowly grown careless with whatever he put in there, except for his weapons. For means sake, he simply kept the storage spot partly open: not all the way closed. So, whatever "interesting" thing he found during the day he simply tossed inside, and again let the doors drift partly open.

Glorfindel opened one of the doors and reached inside the dark, creepy space. The elf needed to toss certain things out to get to the assigned spot where the weapons were stored in, but Glorfindel will throw it all back in pretty soon. He felt the sheath of one his weapons and drew his hand back out into the open, quickly checking the quality of the blade.

…Well, bad luck. And he was late.

The normally cheery elf frowned. He did not have time to dig further in for a better sword! Well, he could always get one from the barracks, but no, he rather use one of his own swords. It was a bit like a horse: one is familiar with the rider (in this case, the wielder), and vice versa.

Glorfindel grit his teeth and began another tedious search. It should not be too bad; it is not like anyone will suddenly barge into the room.

How very wrong he was.

A big slam from the door and Glorfindel unintentionally yelped. No one ever came in _this_ early, and especially not that loudly! Looking to see the intruder, the Vanya's face melted into horror.

The overly organized Erestor.

"I was supposed to have this week's reports last night, Glorfindel." Erestor began quite rapidly and heatedly, not noticing the mess that was on the floor. Why was Erestor awake this early anyway?

Wait…reports? Oh.

"Well, ah…" Glorfindel began uncertainly. This might be the most embarrassing moment in this second life. Here, with a bunch of garbage all over the floor, and having _forgotten_ his duty!

Erestor obviously did not notice, "I do not know if you were scheming with the twins or getting kicked in the arse by Asfaloth or by lord Elrond, but if I _knew_ any bett-" The elf looked down finally as he stepped on something hard. Seeing the mess, disbelief and perhaps even distress flashed across his eyes. Slowly, Erestor looked up to meet the blue eyes of Glorfindel. The latter smiled sheepishly.

"What is all this!?" Erestor practically yelled, "Here we all thought you were organized!"

Glorfindel blinked rapidly at that accusation, "It…it is not-" He stuttered. Why now was his clever tongue being caught?

"No! This is not acceptable!" The other elf about hissed and marched carefully over.

Now Glorfindel was a bit on the defensive, "You are not my naneth, mellon. And for Varda's sake, Erestor! Is this not a bit of an overreaction?"

"Over-" Erestor blinked, now his own voice being caught. Very interesting morning for sure, when both ellyn of witty minds and tongues are at a loss.

Glorfindel hugged the sword sheath while taking one step closer, "It is organized chaos, what is in there."

Erestor opened his mouth to (not) send a bad remark. Now, the elf was one that favored long tunics, and combined with the length of his clothing, and stepping on a curved object, slipped and went flying into Glorfindel, "Ai!"

Glorfindel instinctively went out to prevent Erestor from falling in a way that could cause broken bones, however he too somehow slipped on an object on the floor, and with his bee-clothing, it caught the edge of one of the closet doors. Both elves bonked into each other, and (play appropriate classical music involving dancing flower fairies) gracefully half spun and fell into different directions. Erestor, unfortunately, landed in _the closet_ , and Glorfindel face planted into the opposing door, and his tunic tugged on the other one.

The doors clicked shut.

It took a bit of time for both of them to snap out of their daze, the yellow-head being quicker.

Glorfindel groaned and pulled himself up, while shaking his head (now the golden mane being in a complete disarray). Realizing what happened, and seeing the doors closed, shot up, "Erestor!" And immediately grabbed one of the handles to pull it open. To no avail.

"You idiot." Came a muffled voice from inside, "What under the stars of Varda have you got in here!? I would think the sons of Elrond would be like this!"

"Organized chaos." Glorfindel repeated in a murmur.

"Well, it does not matter. Get me out of here, and we will deal with this later."

"I cannot…" Glorfindel said mournfully.

There was a long pause before Erestor sharply, and almost in a disturbed voice, asked, "What do you mean 'I cannot'? Pull the handles! Or…the key! Yes! Find that!"

Glorfindel's shoulders slumped. When was the last time he even saw that thing? This did not bode well. But it did not hurt to look. Besides, Erestor might get panicky being in a small space pretty soon (and being mentally scarred for life with what is in _the closet_ ). Glorfindel might have unwittingly threw it out on the floor.

"I will look." The Vanya said before getting down on the floor to find the missing key. Nothing. The ellon tried to remember what the blasted thing looked like. Soon he moved to look all over the place (probably not thoroughly, since time was pressing on his mind).

"Well?" came another noise from _the closet_.

"I cannot find it!" Glorfindel slammed his hands on a hard surface in frustration. Why was he the one that had to receive the lock-down closets? Life was so unfair. Little did he know that the trapped elf paled and about fainted inside.

"Well…" the advisor began with lack of clarity, "…find something to smash the handles, or…pick lock it?"

"Elladan!" Glorfindel said aloud, "Brilliant idea, mellon!" The bell rang in the distance. He may have missed warm ups…but dang it he was not going to miss breakfast, "I will be right back with a way out for you!"

"Wait, what? No! Do not leave me here!" Erestor banged on the doors without hope. He stopped eventually when there was no answer. Fear and panic began building up from being locked in a small space, darkness, in the _biggest_ pigsty he believed he had ever seen, and all alone. Still no response, "…Glorfindel?"

* * *

 _A/N Will Glorfindel find the master picklocker in time? Will Erestor survive the terrors of garbage and socks? Or will the balrog-slayer and the son of Elrond be too late to save the advisor from having a heart attack? Stay tuned for more._


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N In which Erestor has been locked in a closet for almost a year...but here, is the finale. If you find movie references... :) Enjoy._

* * *

Glorfindel walked merrily, or as merrily he could manage given the odd morning. And without giving light to the dire situation to the other elves. Obviously.

But inside, he was afraid. No one had ever been locked in _the closet_. Never. This was a first time for that. He did not know the effects it could have on someone to be locked in _the closet_. Worst was because it was Erestor, who never liked closed spaces to begin with.

What would come out of there? What would the closet turn Erestor into? A raving mad-man?

Worse…: Erestor having been terrified to the extreme and died.

Glorfindel was not fancying having a body in his wardrobe, least of all it being the body of his best friend. Oh, one thing was for sure, Tathardes must _never_ find out.

Glorfindel walked into the Hall of Fire in his ridiculous clothes. Someone choked and some started chortling. Glorfindel easily sat into his seat with grace only elves can manage, and after spending a few years falling off cliffs to learn how to land on your feet like a cat. Balrog inspired business.

Elrond was looking at him, very, _very_ , carefully.

"I sense distress coming from you." The elf-lord said casually.

Glorfindel started sweating.

"Did you sleep well last night?"

"Of course, master Elrond." Glorfindel said jovially, trying to keep the façade, "This morning was particularly fair."

He was talking about the nature, not the disaster that happened at the same time.

And who had the right to comment on his sleep patterns? Erestor was the nocturnal creature in Imladris.

…maybe Erestor would be fine in the closet, in that light.

Just, enjoy the food (he looked at the twins sitting across him), and then worry about Erestor.

He would be just _fine_.

Nearing the end of breakfast, Glorfindel looked back to the twins, who were composed.

The golden-elf started sweating again. He could not tell which one was Elladan. He could normally tell the difference but…Oh, the stress! Such a horrible day, and it has not even started yet!

"Ellrodan," He said, using the smashed name that had been established for the twins when one did not know which was the other. Of course, Glorfindel realized too late he did not need to do that, since that name was only used when it was just one twin alone.

The present house of Elrond stared at Glorfindel, disturbed and worried.

"…Which one do you want?" Said Ellrodan left, confused.

"Are you sure you are feeling alright, Glorfindel?" Elrond pressed.

"I am fine!" Glorfindel rubbed his face, "Elladan, I need your help concerning a…delicate matter."

Ellrodan right blinked and looked apprehensive, and Glorfindel knew it was Elladan then.

"What do you have in mind?" Asked the twin, scared.

Glorfindel waved his hands and stood from his seat, smiling in a way that was not at all convincing or reassuring, "Oh, nothing too much, my prince. I just need you to…" At this point he had walked to the other side of the table, not so discreetly pulling Elladan out of his seat and escorting him out of the hall.

Everyone stared at the two: curiosity, suspicion, and concern were in the air.

Elrond and Elrohir looked at each other.

"May I be excused?" asked the younger twin.

Elrond nodded, "Do not let them know you are following…or do not let Glorfindel know. I do not know what he is up to, but I suspect foul play." He waved a hand, "Go."

Elrohir left in a much more normal way.

* * *

"You mean to say that Erestor fell in?"

Glorfindel nodded.

Elladan stared, not convinced, before he began twining the metal he would use to unlock the mechanism with a sigh.

Glorfindel paced back and forth, worrying his hands away. Erestor did not answer their calls and reassurances, and so the Vanya had gotten into a frenzy of worry. He failed. He failed his friend, and therefore failed life. Oh, there would be many mourners…what sort of flowers should he bring?

"STOP PANICKING!" Elladan yelled.

Glorfindel became a statue.

"I cannot do my work if you are making that racket!"

Glorfindel sat down in a chair.

Elladan was glaring at the golden-head before looking back to the keyhole, jiggling the metal carefully. Glorfindel had not cleaned up his mess from earlier, and Elladan was both astonished and impressed by what he saw on the floor.

A piece of peeled bark.

An apple core.

The rotten socks from earlier.

A rubber ball with a star on it…

A red coat with white crossings.

Some sort of action figure (what?)

A ship that did not look like a ship in this current era.

And some strange lamp that did not look like a lamp and it was alive. Or was alive.

And a big red sign that said STOP.

The list goes on.

Elladan was probably going to need to tell his father to evaluate Glorfindel's state of mind when he was done.

"Hurry up, please!" Aforementioned elf said impatiently, "Any moment longer and Erestor will be melting out of the door when it is opened!"

"Solid objects cannot melt."

"Ice can."

"Living creatures do not simply melt away! I think I am-"

The lock clicked.

Then twenty million things happened at once.

Elrohir opened the door with Elrond behind him, Glorfindel whooped in joy, Elladan fell backwards onto the floor (the objects were digging into his back). But the most iconic image was Erestor leaping out of _the closet_ , very much looking crazy with his bloodshot eyes, tousled hair, and the fact that he was holding a _broom_.

A _broom_!

Why did Glorfindel store a _broom_ in _the closet_ in the first place?

"I know your secrets." Erestor hissed as he stared at the gold head, pointing the broom towards Glorfindel, "I know everything now!"

"Erestor," Elrond said, not sure to what has happened. Was this why Glorfindel dragged his eldest away? "Calm yourself and expl-"

"Oh, I will explain everything!" Erestor said loudly and started moving back and forth across the room dramatically, getting uncomfortably close to some people as he did so, "There I was, stuck inside the biggest pigsty I have ever seen in my entire life…There were strange creatures staring at me. Carnivorous beasts. But I found my weapon, and I fought them all!" The elf was clinging onto Elrohir's shoulder as he stared daggers at Glorfindel.

Elladan had not recovered from his shock and was still on the floor.

They all stared at Erestor.

"I do not have carnivorous beasts in my closet!" Glorfindel defended.

"You did not let me finish, traitor!" Erestor said loudly, quickly scurrying over to the wall, "I kept fighting my way through…I must have walked for miles, leagues, until I found a rack of coats hanging on metal. I pushed through, and lo, I fell into a pine forest in the winter, and a light upon a post lit up the small clearing!" Erestor started to breathe more heavily, "It is summer here, I tell you! SUMMER!"

Everyone had backed off, except Elrond, who had a look that said: just part of the life.

Erestor waved his broom in the air, narrowing his eyes even further, "So when did you plan on telling us you have a way into some unknown dimension? And you should PAY me for cleaning up your mess!" He grinned maniacally, looking at the twins. At that look they both went pale, and Elladan cowered.

"Do you have any secrets I should know about in _your_ closets?"

Elladan scrammed to his feet; Elrohir's eyes bugged out before he _ran_ for it, his brother behind him.

Erestor gave a war cry and ran after them, waving the broom in the air again. Glorfindel ran behind the mad elf to try and subdue him before he went on another cleaning frenzy.

Elrond just stood at the center of the room and blinked. He looked at the mess on the floor, then to the open closet. He approached the thing that assumingly had led to all this distress and madness. It was neat and tidy on the inside…Of course, then he saw some strange alien creature hop out of it and out of the room entirely.

Elrond blinked like he was in a daze. After briefly looking inside the closet he closed the doors, locking them again, before walking to Glorfindel's desk, grabbing a paper and a pen. Upon it he wrote thus:

'1. Thorough examination of wardrobes of elves in high station.

2\. Make an inquiry to Glorfindel before court and jury about what he has stored up over the years and question if there is any threat to Imladris because of his stash.

3\. Have a mind evaluation session with Erestor and stock up on a lot of sedatives and then brain wash him into being normal again.'

Elrond rolled up his new to do list neatly and stuffed it into his robe. He took another paper, but coated one side of it with a nearby adhesive. He wrote on it, then put it on one of the doors of the closet.

'Under permanent renovation.'


End file.
